Communication is key

Like everyone else out there, I have gotten in my fair share of fights, arguments, misunderstandings (what have you) and at the heart of all of them there is one key element missing ... communication.  I think the majority of people out in the world today are not good at communicating.  Way back when, I was a psychology major and definitely learned a few tricks and trades along the way.  And, I have had to use these lessons in my marriage, with my kids, with my family and in work situations.  

Here are my main rules when it comes to communication (mind you that I am in no way saying that I am an expert, I am just stating my opinions):

1. Empathize- this is a difficult task to master.  It basically means to put yourself in the other person's shoes. This can be thinking like a different sex, race, socioeconomic status, age ... what have you.  It also forces you to think outside of yourself and your own personal situation, which opens up your mind to different possibilities.  

2. Reread what you write- this is true for facebook, text and e-mails.  Read what you write!  Words are misinterpreted so often and if it's in written form, it is so easy for the other person to read it differently than how you mean it.  I scan everything that I write and reread it probably 3 times.  This might sound crazy, but I try to read it from the other person's perspective.  It also allows me a few minutes to make sure that I don't write anything too hurtful, which can be done so quickly when you are mad.

3. Take ownership- as an adult, you have to be willing to say I am sorry even if you didn't mean it, or if you don't remember saying it.  If it hurt someone else or made them feel bad, say "I am sorry."  It almost always makes things better and it often will lead to the other person saying they are sorry too.

4. Don't believe what others say- When it is second-hand information, try not to believe it.  It is so easy for words to get twisted when it does not come directly from the horse's mouth.  People mean well, but it is never verbatim and therefore cannot be trusted as fact.  

These are things that I have found to be obstacles in relationships as a whole (workplace, marriage, kids, etc.) and the main contributors to conflict. 

Workout Inspiration

I, like almost everyone out there, struggle to motivate myself to workout and be healthy.  What are my non-motivators? Life getting busy with my kids, a small bout of life blues, my hormonal imbalance and sicknesses are my biggest ones.  Stress is actually a motivator for working out for me.  Crazy, I know.  But, I like to prove myself wrong and work out even when life gets the best of me.  I have been working out at home through YouTube videos for the past three years and I wanted to compile a list of who I love to watch and who motivate me to do my very best.

1. Cassey Ho or Blogilates.  She is a crazy young woman who will make you insanely sore in a very short amount of time.  Cassey does a mix of short and long videos and most have a pilates type feel to them but she incorporates cardio and interval training into her workout videos.  This is a must try video of hers.  Your legs will be burning!!

2.  XHIT Daily.  There are currently three instructors that do a wide variety of workouts and I love to use these as supplemental workouts when I want something extra, but you can also combine a few of them and get a great workout for the day.  Most of their videos are 10-15 minutes long and some are very intense!  Sometimes they get a little cheesy but remember that the videos are all about keeping your body at its fittest, so some days I mute them and rock out to my own music.  Here is a great one from them:

3. Fitness Blender.  Talk about a wide array of videos!  I think they have over 450 videos and they are all done very simply with minimal equipment needed.  It is a husband and wife team of personal trainers and their workouts are very effective.  I like to use the longer videos for intense cardio and calorie crushing.  Here is a good video for calorie burning:

These are just my current 3 favorite workout inspirations from YouTube.  I also follow people on instagram, lots of healthy blogs and recipes on Facebook and have healthy reminders in my email inbox.  I am no health freak or perfect person but I know that I only have 1 body and I have seen my body do amazing things by creating three beautiful children and I like to push myself to the limits when I am working out.  I enjoy the pain in working out (weird, I know, but it's true) and I like to be covered in sweat even though I know it's not necessary.  Hopefully, this will help you get some motivation too.